I have never been more aware of TIME than I have as a parent.

It has become more intimate to me, like an old friend. I have seen how it can change, moment to moment. I understand its’ need to march on.

There I am, on the playground, helping Maddie, now 2, navigate the play structures. She is hesitant, curious, so NEW to it all. Other children rush by, so loud and clumsy. I worry about them trampling my young daughter. They touch her, to help, to play, and I go on high alert, wary of their influence. I wonder where the parents are, appalled at their lack of supervision.

And then, I BLINK, and I am on the other side. We are at the very same park. Maddie, now 4, runs across the sand. She stops to help a toddler off the slide. The mother is there, smiling, but nervous, scanning the play area. I know she is looking for me, the unseen parent, safely ensconced on my bench, my iPhone in hand.

There I am, in our bedroom, holding our 3-month old daughter, Juliet, content and peaceful, listening to the world spin outside.

I BLINK and I am suddenly in the car, looking back at Juliet wiggling in her car seat, as I race to pick up Maddie from preschool. Then racing to the grocery store. Racing to her soccer class. Making dinner. Giving her a bath. Reading books. I do not notice when night falls anymore, but I know it will happen, and I am not surprised when I look out and see the moon instead of the sun.

I cherish the still moments of the day, and appreciate any TIME that is given to me.

All I need is 5 minutes…to do a load of laundry, or wash the dishes, or pay some bills, or take out the trash, or read the newspaper, or mow the lawn, or hang a picture, or check email. I have learned to chip away at tasks. Maddie’s playhouse is about halfway complete, built entirely in 20 minute intervals. I have been working on it for 10 years now.

There I am, waving goodbye to Juliet as she follows the line of tiny kids into their classroom. It is her first day of Kindergarten. Maddie is in 5^th grade, an elementary professional. Juliet has tagged along all this time, now it is her turn. She is excited. 

I BLINK and we are at Maddie’s 8^th Grade Graduation. She is waving to us from across a sea of people, confident and proud. So tall now, with a beautiful smile, and eyes that seem to say, “Thanks dad, I’m good.” 

I look down at Juliet who is smiling. She sees her sister but she is bored and anxious, looking for something to do. I am afraid to BLINK.

I think about the future a lot and I try to prepare.

I think about the past a lot, too, with a warm fondness and a deeper appreciation.

All I can do is play along and hope that TIME is kind to me